Creatures from the Abyss / Plankton (1994)

5.0 out of 5

A truly detestable bunch of teenagers seek refuge aboard a ghost ship once the bestial Oceanographic research centre for a violent breed of aquatic alien creatures.

Cue hilarious approximations of the American slasher and its heavy handed tropes, cod roe miscarriages, bacofoil wallpaper, lots of tits, incredibly bad acting, fish eye POV, the worst case of food poisoning and subsequently the greatest vomiting sequence ever committed to celluloid.

Words simply cannot describe how gloriously inept, though strangely glossy and ridiculously engrossing Cerchi's film actually is.

Plankton is, quite possibly, the greatest film ever made.

Maurizio Merli header graphic courtesy of Paddy O'Neill of Foxyfide Graphics